I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
