What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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