once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
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I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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