you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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