Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
