the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
