i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
