No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize