Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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