Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
