The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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