im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
