Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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