The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
