Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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