Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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