Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
