it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
