If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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