ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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