i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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