I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
