You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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