I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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