You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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