We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
