Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
