Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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