Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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