so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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