omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize