Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
