I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
