Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
