I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
