pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize