you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ambien. No doubt about it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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