would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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