Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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