I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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