I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
