I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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