All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
