Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
