woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
