I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize