it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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