you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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