He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
