Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
