Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
