I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
