Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
