remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Randomize