there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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