I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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