Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
