She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
