I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
