Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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